MCML: Recently sat down with Jesse Ferrell, professional speaker, author and success coach, to get his take on how being positive helps you reach your goals. It is interesting to see what he had to say!
MCML: Jesse, tell us a little bit about how being positive will help in reaching your goals means to you.
Jesse: There is some significant discovery and people science that indicates that when left to our own, our brains tend to gravitate toward a negative disposition. According to psychologist Rick Hanson, author of Hardwiring Happiness, our brains are wired to scout for the bad stuff — as he puts it, the brain is like Velcro for negative experience and Teflon for positive ones. The brain is constantly scanning for threats — which of course was in our favor as we evolved — and when it finds one, it isolates and fixates on the threat, sometimes losing sight of the big picture.
We must learn how to overcome our natural brain hardwiring to escape the pull to fixate on negative matters. We like to be around people that leave us feeling great! In my book, How You Leave Them Feeling, I note the best way to leave people is wanting more…wanting more of you!
This would also suggest that the worst way to leave people feeling is wanting less of you. Negative people with negative dispositions leave us feeling poorly and we can’t wait to rid them from our presence. You will never reach your life goals by holding onto a negative attitude. It is a turn off! A drag. A negative attitude sucks life out of you!
This is a prime and primal example of why being positive will help you reach your goals. You may be able to do good things on your own, but in order to live a full and meaningful life doing great things for yourself and others, you will need the help of others to assist you in reaching your goals. I have witnessed the powerful impact of maintaining a positive attitude has had on and for the thousands of lives I have touched in my life coaching business and serving as a trainer, keynote, workshop professional speaker. Owning a positive attitude will help enrich your life as well.
MCML: What are some key thoughts you have for teens on how to maintain a positive attitude and cultivate positive thoughts?
Jesse: A great place for teens to start positive thinking and learning how being positive helps you reach your goals is by adopting these 3 infamous words from the Zulu Tribe in South Africa… Emuntu, Ngamunto, Ngabantu. This means people are people because of others!
MCML: Wow, that is a powerful mantra! Jesse, are you saying that all teens have to do to live a great life is to embrace this Zulu mantra? Is it really that easy?
Jesse: That is a great question. No, it isn’t easy. I would say simple, not easy. Also, what I am saying is that to start embracing this mantra, enrolling it into your life and build from there.
MCML: Okay, so are there other steps that you may share with our teens?
Jesse: Yes, following the enrollment of Emuntu, Ngamunto, Ngabantu is to know your character well and get in touch with your signature. Your signature represents your unique style and it’s the manner in which you do things that others come to know you for. Leaving your signature with someone is like leaving a wonderful scent behind. Have you ever been in the presence of someone who puts on just the right amount of cologne and after they have left the room, you smell a hint of their pleasant fragrance? You could make a similar mark by having a pleasant person- ality and sharing it with others. This is what I mean by leaving your personal signature behind.
MCML: That is a great vision and message to share with our teens and they can start working on improving their signature right now to prepare them to be a awesome young adults.
Jesse: I totally agree. Also, I would add three clear action steps to insure you are moving others in a positive manner with your signature.
MCML: That sounds interesting, what are those three steps?
Jesse: If you will follow these three steps it will open a world of opportunity for you:
1. Take advantage of every opportunity to leave your signature behind.
2. Choose to develop your personal power by using your natural.
3. Create a word-of-mouth epidemic and cause your relationships to tip in your favor.
MCML: We appreciate your sharing these outstanding concepts on how being positive helps you reach your goals.
Jesse: Thank you, I am happy to share concepts that I know will help create the best opportunity for growth and development for teens. There is another life philosophy that will also add value to teens reaching their goals.
MCML: That is interesting. What other concepts or philosophies will help to add value?
Jesse: There is a concept called The Four Agreements. I read a book by Don Miguel Ruiz called The Four Agreements and his philosophy and concept of living your life by these four agreements is truly life changing. Not only will learning and living these agreements support how being positive helps you reach your goals, they will also help you maintain great relationships via personal and internal communication skills.
MCML: Please share with our teens what are the four agreements.
Jesse: The 4 agreements are as follows:
1. Never take anything personal
2. Always do your best
3. Don’t make assumptions
4. Be impeccable with your word
MCML: Those agreements are fabulous! Along with your book How You Leave Them Feeling, is this a good book for teens to read?
Jesse: Yes, it is an incredible read. It truly helps you increase the quality of your ability to communicate with yourself and others in a big way and will clearly help your reach your goals by owning a positive and winning attitude.
MCML: What impact does how being positive help you reach your goals have on a teen’s self-esteem or confidence?
Jesse: That is a profound question! When you choose to continually work on improving you how being positive will help you reach your goals, it will pay heavy dividends toward the contribution of gaining and maintaining high self-esteem and strong confidence in self. Focusing on how the world perceives you will impact how others treat you, thus raising the opportunity of continually feeling good about yourself and others. This is a total self-esteem and confidence booster.
MCML: What should teens do if they learn they have a negative attitude?
Jesse: If you learn that you have a negative attitude, I recommend that you make it a top priority to shift from a negative to a positive in light speed. You must take a close look at your character and life circumstances to determine where the breakdown is coming from. Following this introspective view, you can now turn the breakdown into a break through. Do things that are counter intuitive to how you’ve have been doing things that caused the breakdown. Maybe you thought teasing the kid next to you on the bus was all in good fun, but find out that it really upsets him and now everyone thinks you’re a bully. Immediately stop the behavior that’s causing the negative image and find a way to make it better. Maybe it’s sitting somewhere else and giving the kid some space, maybe it’s really choosing to be nice to them. Every situation is different and you have to figure it out! However, practicing the four agreements and developing your signature will create huge opportunities for your growth.
MCML: Jesse, thanks very much for providing such insight in this interview.
Jesse: I am happy to assist! The teen years are so critical to figuring out who you are and developing your signature in order to create maximum opportunities for life success journey. I hope my advice helps some readers get themselves together as they’re preparing for early adulthood and great futures beyond!
Remember, being positive helps you reach your goals.